Battling the New Year's Blues?

Anyone who knows me well will attest to the fact that for many, many years, New Year's and birthdays were not my favorite times of year. Perhaps, it was simply personality dysfunction, or my coming to the unfortunate conclusion that these days are just way overrated with far too many expectations regarding their outcome. More likely, it was because these two days represented milestones, and for a very long time, despite what many would have deemed overwhelming professional and financial success, they constituted a reminder, a gnawing awareness that I had neither made it to that seemingly elusive "happy" place, nor yet hit that definitive mark in my personal landscape of expectations that surely spelled joy. Over and over again, these two times of year constituted a bitter reality check, which ostensibly demanded that my life be placed on the scales of life and weighed…and, ultimately, be found wanting.

Was this just symptomatic of years of depression? Maybe. But I am thankful, today, to have discovered that those dark days truly had purpose. The birth of this magazine project and our plans to launch The Real Proposal™ mega brand are certainly testimony in this regard. They are a constant reminder to me that, in God's economy, nothing is ever wasted when you surrender to His call. If nothing else, dark days ought to remind us that there is still work to be done in finding our center. In proper perspective, these days really are a gift. Seemingly, they have been ordained by the Creator to make us—His created things—"lie down" in that place where we are forced to assess and evaluate whether our lives are on track to our “green pastures.” Many of us are willing to humble ourselves and do the spiritual work that, ultimately, will reengineer our lives and bring real fulfillment; sadly, others will miss the point of these seasons in life and continue in cycles of despair until their eureka-moment.

That said, I was pleased to find an article from Joseph C. Phillips on BlackAmericaWeb.com entitled If You’re Battling the New Year’s Blues, Remember Your Many Blessings – and Be Grateful, which, I believe, you will enjoy. To be sure, it places so many of my previous introspections and judgments passed at New Year’s into proper perspective. And I for one am grateful to have the means to be able to share it now with all of you.

Like Mr. Phillips, I, too, am grateful to be of the age where being one of the "beautiful" and being at the "right party" on New Year’s Eve no longer interests me.

At the beginning of this New Year, I am grateful for family and friends who have demonstrated so clearly that they love me. My two daughters and I are healthy, and I am proud of whom they are becoming. My older daughter, a high school senior, will graduate this year as one of the top ten in her graduating class and, to be sure, I am proud of her accomplishments in so many areas. But, more importantly, I am grateful to have had precious time to be her mother, and to have grown so much in my spirit that I am able to impart to her and, now, to her little sister who has just turned twelve, the kind of wisdom that comes from the fountain of God… and they are developing into rare beauties.

I am grateful, also, to have more time with the wonderful man I have called husband for the past two and a half years. Another time—quite likely, within the pages of The Real Proposal™ magazine—I will share with you our true love story, but suffice it now to say that he was my college sweetheart and we lost track of each other for 22 years. Within a couple months of our marriage, he was diagnosed with cancer and, despite recent reports that the cancer is back, I am grateful that God is giving us the strength to continue the battle with this dreaded disease, and to just stand. I am grateful for the revelation that my joy has little to do with my changing circumstances, and the realization that, given the choice, I would choose to be in this particular foxhole with no one else.

I am also grateful to have my mother living with me, and that, at seventy-two, she is still healthy and vital after losing her husband and life partner of forty seven years—my father—on Christmas Day 2001. In so many ways, she is the glue that holds everything together when the hectic pace of our lives could make our household descend into chaos. I am grateful just to recognize her worth, for I know through many of the visits in which my daughter volunteers at a nursing home in our community that this isn’t always the case.

And, finally, I am grateful that, after many years of struggle, I have regained my balance and perspective, and my sense of humor. God’s grace has restored to me a lovely home that is filled with the kind of real joy—and laughter—that transcends circumstance. There is, within our home, this New Year, a true afterglow of Christmas past, and our hearts are filled with hope for the future. Without a doubt, we have hope for the physical healing of my husband, hope for the right placement of college for our daughter, hope that our younger will continue to grow in her full richness for she is truly "bonus," and that this year we will see the fulfillment of at least some of God’s long-awaited promises regarding our collective destiny. Assuredly, we also look forward to seeing The Real Proposal™ magazine on the national newsstands. But regardless what transpires this year, I am, perhaps, the most grateful that we have learned how to be content in the knowledge that it is God who controls ALL outcomes, that His grace is truly sufficient for the day, and that ALL things are working together for our good.

So a toast to you, then, for blessings in abundance, friends. May the Year 2007 be filled with the realizations of your every good wish. May you never fail to recognize the wealth of blessings that arise from life's simple pleasures.

Donna Kassin

President & Founder